The Argosy of Pure Delight.

If the Reformers Had Their Way

If the professional reformers had their way:

Skirts, hours, prayer meetings and men’s faces would be longer;

Joys, kisses, movie fade outs, and women’s tempers would be shorter;

Salaries would be smaller—but troubles and families would be larger;

Bootleg would be poison, and home brew would kill;

Eating, drinking, sleeping and living would be regulated by those who eat “calories,” drink water, sleep grudgingly for fear of missing something to reform, and live totally ignorant of the things that make life really worth while;

And—worst of all—

We’d have to think just what the censors wanted us to think:

But, thank God,

They cannot put meters on the minds of men and women, even if curfew and the police hustle them in at eight p.m. every night!

——Photoplay, 1922.