The Argosy of Pure Delight.

Suggestions to Our Visitors

The Smart Set

Here is a little pamphlet for vistors to The Smart Set, edited by H. L. Mencken and George Jean Nathan, in which the editors lay down a few rules and expectations for their guests.

  1. The editorial chambers are open daily, except Saturdays, Sundays and Bank Holidays, from 10.30 A. M. to 11.15 A. M.

  2. Carriage calls at 11.15 A. M. precisely.

  3. The Editors sincerely trust that guests will abstain from offering fees or gratuities to their servants.

  4. Visitors expecting telephone calls while in audience will kindly notify the Portier before passing into the consulting rooms.

  5. Dogs accompanying visitors must be left at the garde-robe in charge of the Portier.

  6. Visitors are kindly requested to refrain from expectorating out of the windows.

  7. The Editors regret that it will be impossible for them, under any circumstances, to engage in conversations by telephone.

  8. The Editors assume no responsibility for hats, overcoats, walking sticks or hand luggage not checked with the Portier.

  9. Solicitors for illicit wine merchants are received only on Thursdays, from 12 o’clock noon until 4.30 P. M.

  10. Interpreters speaking all modern European languages are in daily attendance, and at the disposal of visitors, without fee.

  11. Officers of the military and naval forces of the United States, in full uniform, will be received without presenting the usual letters of introduction.

  12. The House Surgeon is forbidden to accept fees for the treatment of injuries received on the premises.

  13. Smoking is permitted.

  14. Visitors whose boots are not equipped with rubber heels are requested to avoid stepping from the rugs to the parquetry.

  15. A woman Secretary is in attendance at all interviews between the Editors, or either of them, and lady authors. Hence it will be unnecessary for such visitors to provide themselves with either duennas or police whistles.

  16. Choose your emergency exit when you come in; don’t wait until the firemen arrive.

  17. Visiting English authors are always welcome, but in view of the severe demands upon the time of the Editors, they are compelled to limit the number received to 50 head a week.

  18. The objects of art on display in the editorial galleries are not for sale.

  19. The Editors regret that they will be unable to receive visitors who present themselves in a visibly inebriated condition.

  20. Cuspidors are provided for the convenience of our Southern and Western friends.

  21. The Editors beg to make it known that they find it impossible to accept invitations to public dinners, memorial services or other functions at which speeches are made, or at which persons are present who ever make speeches elsewhere.

  22. The Editors assume that visitors who have had the honor of interviews with them in the editorial chambers will not subsequently embarrass them in public places by pointing them out with walking sticks.

  23. Photographs of the Editors are on sale at the Portier’s desk.

  24. Members of the hierarchy and other rev. clergy are received only on Thursdays, from 12 o’clock noon to 4.30 P. M.

  25. The Editors cannot undertake to acknowledge the receipt of flowers, cigars, autographed books, picture postcards, signed photographs, loving cups or other gratuities. All such objects are sent at once to the free wards of the public hospitals.

  26. Positively no cheques cashed.